what's 'normal' anyhow?!

 
we are still on vacay.
currently in texas. at momma & larry's.
we have been away from home for 13 days.
our original plan was to head home on the 1st.
but we have decided to cut our trip short.
and head home on friday.
putting us back in ohio on saturday.
i will share all about our first trip home once we are back in ohio and semi settled.
today i want to get something off my chest.

my boys turned 20 months this past monday.
just a mere four months from being two years old.
crazy how this happens. how fast they grow up. yet :: still are babies.

i have been reminded on numerous occasions just how little, and baby-like my boys still are while on this trip.
i can't tell you how many times i have questioned my parenting choices and ability during these past 13 days.
and have wondered if something was *really* wrong with my boys.
you see, my boys are fussy. they cry often. they are NOT fans of strangers {which means, they aren't fans of people outside their mommy. daddy. and two sets of grandparents}.
which makes these kind of trips HARD.
especially when you are staying in a home with family who are 'strangers.'
and when you visit all of mommy and daddy's friends and family.
who are strangers.

this past week was trying :: to say the least.
we spent one evening in the minor ER.
both boys had an ear infection.
mommy got sick.
we spent 5 days in a house with 6 adults and 3 kids.
my kids were crying the majority of the time.
it's hard when you are at home dealing with the fussiness of your babes.
but when you are in somebody else's home.
with someone asking you every 5 minutes 'what's wrong with him? why is he crying again?' it's pretty much pure :: hell.
and with everyone telling you that you should :: put your kids in daycare or a mother's day out program. so they will get over their fear of strangers.
you begin to question yourself.
and your kids.

you see. there is nothing harder than being a parent. especailly a stay at home mom.
i am their sole provider. teacher. disciplinarian. provider. torturer.
i am grooming them. molding them. shaping them into the boys and men that they will become.
it's a tough. tough job.
and when you have people telling you what you 'should' be doing makes it even tougher.
because you start second guessing yourself.
and questioning your kids {are they normal?! what is wrong with them? why do they cry so much?}

it's been SO hard on me.
but, i think i finally figured it out.
my boys. my 20 month old boys. are STILL babies. they love love love their mommy. they do not like strangers. especially when they are sick and are tired. and they may not 'grow out of the stranger danger phase' for some time. after all :: they have NEVER liked strangers. my kids are not the outgoing. let anyone and everyone hold them. smile at strangers. kind of kids. they just aren't. i can't change them. or force them to be the friendly kind of babies. and i am going to be okay with it.
yes. i am going to stop making excuses for them. they are who they are. they are my sweet. smart. healthy. lovable. most handsome little men. who just aren't good with strangers. who may or may not cry more than the next 20 month old.
i will still look at the next pre-toddler/toddler who is outgoing and long for the day my boys will interact with other adults. and not be so clingy to me. as i know that day will come. eventually.
but, i am not going to put them in a day care just to force them to get over their fear of stangers.
it is a priviledge to stay home with them.
to capture the good and bad days with them.
they're only little once.
i'm going to embrace this time with them.

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the story goes :: there was this baby named alicia elaine mims who ONLY liked her mommy. daddy. pa. and a man named jim. she HATED strangers. especially men. i'm pretty sure she grew out of it. eventually. because she became quite the social butterfly in her latter years. 

i *think* there is hope for my two mommas' boys.

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despite everyone being sick. and the stranger situations. we have had a good time. and have TONS of pictures to share. my boys do love other kids. which made the family and friends {with other kids} get together's fun. 

breakfast time at gma & gpa walters.