highs and lows

i have seen a few posts on the above subject.
i'm going to do my version of a highs and lows post.

first off, i'd like to take a moment and thank mother nature.
it is january 13th and today is our first official snow day.

the day after we left for xmas vacay my neighbor sent this to me of our house. we missed it. totally okay with that!

we have had snow.
but nothing like today.
it was a texas kind of snow before this one.
the here today. gone tomorrow stuff. the stuff i prefer.
moving to ohio, you know this snow thing is gonna happen. it's just part of this place.
i'm thankful it waiting until the middle of january.
rumor has it :: it's snowed on halloween before.
rumor also has it :: these people are used to 6 months of winter.  

nothankyouVERYmuch.

hate to speak too soon, but i think we will be way shy of the 6 month mark.
again, many thanks mother nature, for waiting this long to dump this white stuff on us.
and in honor of the white stuff :: we're having an all day pajama day.

so back to this highs and lows thing.
i have taken notice, more so now than ever before, on just how quickly things go from good to down right terrible.

it was just a couple of weeks ago. {when it was snowing actually}. that i was laying on the couch. all bundled up. the fire place was going. my babes were napping. the snow was falling. and i was just in awe of everything around me. i was so at peace. i didn't have a care in the world. i was thankful. i was FULL.

and that very next morning. ledger woke up and his poor little body was on fire. he had 103.8 temperature {highest i had EVER seen on either boys. EVER}. he was border line lethargic. i had never seen him like this.

i sent our sitter a text and told her not to come that morning. and then called the doctor's office. thankfully we got in. and his temp came down a bit. we got him some meds. and within a few days. he was semi back to normal.

my poor pitiful baby boy.

thankful this one was happy.

moving right along....

this week we have enjoyed some of the natural vitamin D stuff.

daddy even met us at the park on monday afternoon.

 

that evening. after baths. my babes joined me on the couch.
i could have sat there forever.
the smell of them.
the cuteness of them sitting still next to me.
getting on the couch is a new thing in our house.
think it's safe to say :: we were all proud and happy.
i had adam take a picture.
needed to remember this.

tuesday was a normal. but good day.
we went to the little gym.
ran a quick errand.
nothing unusual.
just a good.normal.day.

wednesday started off like any other wednesday.
kailey came over. i went to the gym. ran to the grocery store.
came home.
put the boys down for their nap.
enjoyed my quiet time.
and then it happened.

the SCREAMING on the monitor.

this is never good.
when i hear crying from their cribs. i know i am in for it. just never know how bad it's gonna be.
this go round :: holden.
burning up. crying uncontrollably. he's a hot mess. literally.
and so it begins.
just.like.that. 
from yet another high to another low.
in the matter of hours.

 

 

 

and so, it continues.
the attachment of this child to my body.
continues.

today is day three.

day three of :: going to the bathroom with said child on my lap.
day three of :: a hysterical child if i dare put him down. for even a split second.
day three of :: that damn blanket hanging out of his mouth. every.single.minute.of.the.day.
day three of :: really not eating much. but drinking the bajesus out of some water.
day three of :: long naps.
day three of :: not wanting anyone {not even daddy} besides....lucky me.
day three of :: me being tested. of me digging way down deep to find every ounce of patience that exists inside of me.

you see, if there was one thing i could say i feel i got jipped {for lack of better word} on by having two babes at once. i think it would be this :: not being able to hold and snuggle my baby{ies} enough. i guess it was a choice that adam and i made when we found out we were getting blessed times two. we decided to establish and live off a schedule. we would feed them at the same time. make them eat at the same time. do mostly everything at the same time. with that being said. the luxury of rocking a baby to sleep. of taking a nap while baby sleeps on your chest. doing the everyday things with baby in a bjorn or sling. snuggled up next to you. all these things weren't in my cards.

i had two of them. the very same age. with the very same needs and demands. and when one was sleeping. i needed the other one asleep as well. because if it didn't work this way.

when would i EVER have time for myself?!? {some may call me selfish. i call it :: keeping my sanity}

all this being said. these last few days have been challenging, to say the least. i am not used to having a child attached to me.
i love them. hug them. kiss them. tell them i love them 1,000 times a day. but i do not have them attached to me.
i have slowed down. i have taken deep breaths and have tried to just embrace the snuggle time. i have left dishes. i have left the house a mess. i have dropped everything to snuggle this baby.

it makes me appreciate their health even more so than ever before.
the good days by FAR out-way the bad.
to this i am so incredibly thankful for.

and despite my life being on hold at the moment.
i am enjoying the snuggle time.

and although it may be emotionally. physically. mentally exhausting.
there is something so special knowing i am the one and only person this little boy wants and/or needs.
i.am.it.
his mommy. the love of his life. is the only one that can make his tears go away. with a mere hug. a body hug. you know the kind :: legs wrapped around me. arms around my ribs. head on my chest. or my shoulder.

the kind i wouldn't trade for the world.

and only get when he is sick {or in this case :: teething}.

highs and lows :: one day we're up. one day we're down. just like that.
today is a high AND low day.
all.in.one.

we are snowed in.
i had to cancel my sitter. thus not getting to go to the gym.
i am embracing my all.day.long monkey hugs.
while my other child is getting away with murder.
okay, maybe not murder.
but everything in this picture is just wrong. everything.

we're old school :: we sit on couches and remotes are for mommy & daddy.

happy weekend friends.
here's to one filled with more highs than lows.
or at least trying to embrace both kinds.