in a major way.
and now i am overwhelmed.
i hope i don't continue to do this.
i want to document everything. the big things. the small things. and the in between things.
but i wait until the month is over and now i can't remember all the things.
all the milestone. all the visitors. all the firsts. all the things.
but i will try.
i will try to remember the things. and i will try to do better at writing them down as they happen. not waiting until all the things have come and gone.
my boys. my life. my dream. i am living out my dream. everyday. my heart is full. everyday is not easy. but everyday i am thankful. i am thankful for my husband for allowing me to be living my dream. i am thankful that my husband is so good to me and the boys. i am thankful my husband loves us so. i am thankful that my boys are healthy and growing. i am thankful that my boys are pretty easy, and really have been since the beginning. i am thankful for sleep. i am thankful that the Father above has given me the greatest miracle of all (x2). He has trusted me. He has provided for me. He loves me enough to share this gift(s) with me. He loves me despite all my flaws. i am not deserving of His love. i am not deserving of my two most precious boys. they have my heart. my whole heart. i now live each and everyday for them. to protect them. to love them. to teach them.
i am thankful.
StaTs on LeDgeR:
weight: 11 lbs (52%)
length: 22.25 inches (21%)
StaTs on HoLdeN:
weight: 10 lbs (28%)
length: 22 inches (15%)
******The above stats were taken at 2M 3D. We went to get their dTap shot last friday (11w5d) and Ledger weighed 13 lbs and Holden weighed 12 lbs******
FeeDiNgS & sChEDulE:
the boys both started sttn (sleeping through the night) when they were 8w6d. they went upstairs, in their bedroom, the pacie was gone, and they slept. i had enough of getting up every other minute to put pacie's back in mouths. i was up from 1:00am-5:00am on that saturday night. sunday was a new day and the boys got their debut at being big boys.
upstairs. their room. their crib.
mommy was D.O.N.E. with pacie duty in the early morning hours when everyone was VERY capable of sttn. basically when they were 9 weeks old, the sleeping began. and it still is going strong. they never looked back. or, maybe we never gave in again?!?! their schedule for week 9, 10 & 11 has looked like this:
7:00am - Rise n Shine - feed.
7:20ish - independent play time on floor, smile time, talk and love on them.
7:30-7:50 - nap time.
10:00 - feed.
10:20ish - independent play time on floor, smile time, talk and love on them.
10:30 - 10:50- nap time.
1:00 - feed.
1:20ish - independent play time on floor, smile time, talk and love on them.
1:30 - 1:50 - nap time.
4:00 - feed.
4:20ish - independent play time on floor, smile time, talk and love on them.
4:30 -4:50 - nap time. (this one only usually last 30-45 minutes, if that).
6:30 - feed (first cluster feed).
7:00ish - go on walk, take bath, play time with mommy & daddy.
8:30 - feed (second cluster feed). no wake time.
10:30 - dream feed.
this schedule has worked great for us. we are planning on dropping the cluster feeding when they begin their 13th week. their optimal wake time is right around 45 minutes. however, there are some when they are ready to be re-swaddled and laid down at 30 minutes. and very rare times when they can hold out for 60 minutes. still got sleepy heads on my hands. they are smiling, and cooing and EVEN got a laugh out of holdey for the first time (one day away from his 12 week b.day), so i am getting very anxious for them to be more awake! but, know this will happen in due time.
i am still pumping. yes, this still consumes my life. yes, i wish i were actually nursing them rather than pumping and bottle feeding. but, i am glad that i am able to still do this. at the end of the day, it makes me feel better. the bottles are about 80/20; 80% being breast milk and 20% being the yuk stuff.
NaPs:
the boys take three 2-2.5 hour naps a day. the nap after their 4:00 feeding is usually hit-n-miss. we are lucky if they will sleep for 30 minutes. i say lucky because they really need this nap. they are fine just hanging out for about 40 minutes and then they get fussy due to them being tired. we don't adjust their feedings though, so it can be a little crazy around this time of the day.
sleep training.....
let me start by saying we never rocked them to sleep, nursed them to sleep, etc. from day one, they were laid down awake. BUT, they had a pacie in their mouth. and we did spend a lot of time consoling them to sleep. and we did go in every time we heard them peep. and we did pick them up and hold them when they were sps'd to be napping but woke up for whatever reason.
with that said, i guess i can say we officially started the sleep training aka cio (crying it out) in our house at 9 weeks. WOW - they had a rough week when they turned 9 weeks old. (guess that's what happens when mommy gets some sleep....the drill sargant comes full swing =)). they no longer get a pacie when they go to sleep AND (the hardest part of it all)....they cry themselves to sleep. oh how this hurts me! i try to put on a brave face, (especially in front of others, as i know we need to do this, but secretly, i'm still trying to convince myself of this)but IT'S HARD!
so how is it going, you ask?
ledger is really good about being laid down and softly, if any, fussing himself to sleep. he kicks his legs a few times, rubs his nose in the sheets, licks the sheets, turns his head from left to rights a few times, lets out a few fusses again, and then closes his eyes. and that's on a bad day. on a good day, he lays there and doesn't make a peep and falls asleep. or, he is now talking to himself as he lays there. SO CUTE. ledger has this sleep thing down. he doesn't mind the crib. he doesn't mind sleep. in fact, i would say, he loves his sleep. thanks baby milk jug for making mommy's life SO easy.
holden on the other hand. WOW. he pitches a fit. i mean, an all out screaming match. he wants everyone around to know that he does not want to go down for a nap. he cries. and cries. and cries some more. it breaks my heart as i know all he wants is for me to hold him. and, this is all i want to do as well. so it takes every ounce in me to leave him be. i know he needs to learn how to sooth himself. i know that this is the first of MANY MANY MANY more 'tough love' moments that are to come with this new job of being a mommy. so, i pat him on his cute little booty a few more times, and leave the room and hope that the baby praise and worship songs that are playing will give him peace as he falls asleep. this whole process takes about 8 minutes on average, but it feels like an hour! the good thing is this does not happen at bedtime (b/c he has been awake for the prior nap so he is overly exhausted) nor does it happen at every single nap....thank goodness! i have read and asked some friends how long this is going to take and they say it could take weeks for them/holden to be able to lay down and not scream bloody murder. PLEASE baby boy, can you figure this out ASAP!!!!
the 45 minute intruder has blessed us with his presence as well. and guess what....only with holdey. again, this doesn't happen every nap, but at least once a day - he will wake up 45-60 minutes into his nap. UGGHH. every 45 minutes we go in and out of a deep sleep to an active sleep. sometimes holden wakes up during this transition. it's like falling asleep all over again. i tried getting him, putting him in a swing, holding him, etc. all this does is make him WAY too cranky for the next feeding. it was a hot mess when i tried that. he's still tired. bottom line. i hate this - when will this go away???
NeW SkIllS:
- the smiles. oh the smiles. they light up my life. they have started smiling more and more AT us, not just gas anymore. this is what we live for.
- they are very engaging now. they turn their heads when they hear our voices as if they are trying to find us. and they will stare at us for days.
- their head and neck strength is great. they are no longer bobble heads. they've got some killer leg muscles too. they will stand on our legs on occasion - such strong boys.
- the cooing is starting to happen more. not as much as i would like it too, but it happens every now and again. (of course, never on demand or when the flip camera is out and ready for it).
adam had his first father's day. i think it was a hit. i think i can say he loves his new job of being a daddy. i think i can say he is the best daddy and i am so incredibly thankful to be doing this job along side this man. together. as a team.
we had several friends and family members come to the house to meet the little's. i think they were a hit. i think they won over some of their hearts too.
we went on our first road trip. to tulsa. the boys met some more family. and several of their mommy and daddy's friends. they were really good. i was a nervous wreck with them being off their schedule. the car ride. the sleeping/napping arrangements. you know, all the things a first time mommy worries about. but, they really did great. i thought i had lost my mind when we left the house on that friday morning. but, i was so glad we went as it showed me they can get off schedule a tad and still be healthy, happy, baby boys!
i am in love with these two boys. a love that i have never felt before. a love that can never be described until you experience the greatest joy (in my opinion) for yourself.
my sweet sweet boys,
mommy and daddy love you so so so much. we love waking up in the morning and seeing your faces. oh what a way to start each day. mommy loves opening your shudders and singing, 'rise and shine and give God the glory glory, rise and shine....' i love when i pick one of you up and you bury your head in the crook of my neck and make the cutest little noises. i love that you two are becoming more alert and interactive with us. we look forward to all the joys that are ahead of us with you little guys. all the fun that awaits us. but, we also are loving where you are at now. we are trying to savor each and every moment with you two as we know it goes by so fast and we will never get it back. stay small, will ya? for me?
we love you guys,
mommy & daddy.
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