we're leaving on a jet plane...

the hubster and i are leaving on vacay.
we planned this trip a very very very long time ago.
like before babies were here.
like in my previous life.

my previous life which was all.about.alicia.
back when i spent 4 or 5 days a week at the gym.
back when i had definition in my abs.
and when my major stress was the few signs of cellulite underneath my booty.
back when i had a booty.

well, the days of the abs and the ginormous.firm.baby-got-back. booty are gone.
yep, it's been replaced with the newer alicia.
the smaller alicia.
yes, i'm one of those i got smaller after having babes.
i went down two dress sizes.
which i would think i would be over the moon about.
but truth be told.
i'm not.
i'm not because the only reason why i am smaller in size is because of that dang booty.
yes folks that thing used to take me up two sizes.
that and the fact that i am left with a gut and major major major damage to the belly region.
the loves of my life stretched me out so much when they were cook'n.
and i'm not talking about a few stretch marks here and there.
i'm talking about stretch marks around my belly button and saggy skin.
it's lovely folks.
really, it's not lovely, it's the saddest thing i have ever seen.

why am i rambling about this, you ask?!
the vacay.
we are going to st. kitts.
which is part of the british virgin islands.
which means.....bathing suite time.
i have gone back and forth.
do i wear a one piece or a tank-kinie {spelling?}.
or, do i embrace my damaged belly and wear a two piece?!
after going round and round with this in my head.
i have decided to embrace the damaged belly.

so, here's to a fabulous six days in paradise.
just me and the mr.
and a lot of liquid courage to help me get through the days with that two piece on.
and dreaming of the days when i looked like this...

sorry it's dark...but you get the idea.

*************************

on a side note.

{which really could be a post all in itself}

yes, i'm one of those mom's who loves her babies more than life itself.

but, i'm also one of those mom's who thinks it's nice.lovely.healthy to get away with just the hubster as well.

i'm also one that hates. hates. hates. the actual leaving part.

and this time around it's even worse.

as we are gone for so long and are so far away from them.

yea, those horrible thoughts go thru my head constantly.

you know, the what if ones.

what if something happens to adam and i.

what if i never see my babies again.

ugh.

can we just get there already.

so i can get my drink on and forget about my damaged body and get these awful things out.of.my.head.

be back in a week friends.